The Key to Change...Is to Let Go of Fear

Another Chapter in my life commences. Another rung in this ladder, another script in this play called life. Tomorrow is never promised today but somehow someway I know my tomorrow would be nothing less than fine.

If there were one recurring question that crosses my path it would be: How do I just change my environment? How am I able to pick up leave and move to places foreign to me. Don’t I ever get scared of the thought of novelty? Leaving friends, comfort and certainty behind?

I don’t think I’ve ever given the right answer to those who question me ‘cos I always still see the confusion in their faces when I say “I don’t know, I just do.” I’ve pondered upon this question myself. Someone has diagnosed my problem as “a fear of commitment”. I found my diagnosis entertaining, as I wasn’t sure what exactly the commitment was. I doubt I’ve ever been afraid of being committed to any of my past apartments, cities or countries in which I’ve lived. Lastly, I doubt it’s a fear of commitment to the friends with which I have developed bonds in whatever city as friendship definitely transcends geographical boundaries.

One thing I am certain of is that there is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction. All the voluntary changes that have happened in my life have been calculated. I do not just pick up and leave. I weigh the pros and cons and also consult the One who orders my steps. I guess that would be the perfect answer to the question that I often hear.

So as I leave certainty for the uncertainty once more…I am trying to make sense of what it is that motivates me to move. Just up and leave. Its not that I do not have the concerns any responsible adult has. I have just come to realize that all the changes in my life have been at the right time. Like lovers who have become strangers yet are able to amicably part ways. Sometimes you just know when the time is right to move on in search for a challenge that will add to the substance of who you are.

Thus, as I trudge along, once more, doubt and fear elude me as I do not fear the unknown. I embrace the unknown ‘cos it makes my journey through life a little more interesting. Comfort in what you know is great but there is something quite boring about redundancy.

Alas, it seems as though this move might just be the last leg ‘cos I’m going home. Don’t get me wrong…minor changes will arise as life is in constant flux but in terms of an immense change, I believe this might be the final one and I’m embracing it.
Saying goodbye to the things and people you cherish is ever so hard. My life for the past ten years to a certain degree define me and have transformed me into the person I am today. Lasting relationships have been formed, previous relationships have been strengthened and through it all knowledge has been acquired. Not to sound like a Destiny's Child ballad but I’m older and wiser. It’s been a wild and exhilarating ride and I wouldn’t trade any part of my past decade.

In The Spirit of being older and wiser, I have learned that there is nothing sexier than a woman in a well-worn suit. And if there is one thing I am thankful for...it is the ability to buy my own suits moi-meme sans any "grown up" putting me in an old-school costume pretending to be a suit :-)

Stay tuned for my favorite professional looks...

Mat 6:34 - Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

TGIF!

This is a good day to blog 'cos it's Friday i'm in my happy place!!!

This is a bad day to blog 'cos I have nothing to blog about.

Needless to say, I am pretty excited 'cos I get to see my girl model this design tonight:

I am happily jealous of her 'cos I think its a fabulous dress, it has been worn by Kelly Rowland!! (pictured above).....and I find the designer, Kosibah, to be very talented!!! I plan to be all up in the VIP section soaking it all up!!!! Thanks, Ms. Mac!!!

Project Runway brought to life for me. Yay!!! I really would like to meet Kosibah 'cos I think he is rather talented and we have sooo much in common. For instance, we are both nigerian, we are both nigerian and we are both Nigerian lol. I kid, i kid....but i really would love to meet him. They say appreciation makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well so I figure if I tell him how much I appreciate his pieces, in the future, someone would appreciate mine. Very altruistic of me no?? :-).

Anyways, if for no other reason at all...i'd like to tell him that I love that hue of pink!!! and ask if I could borrow the dress for a weekend :-).

Not really sure which other designers are going to be there...but fingers crossed to it being a good night!

Sheesh..So many exclamation marks in this post. Did I mention i'm excited!?!? lol

P.S. I love you more than I did yesterday, but no nearly as much as tomorrow :0)

Functional Accessory

Certain elements/aspects of fashion are tied to our subconscious. For instance, a woman in heels evokes sensualism and the overall effect is oftentimes “sexy;” Business suits are synonymous with professionalism, white evokes innocence and red evokes sexualism and to the simpleminded black is synonymous with grief. Besides the feelings clothing items and/or colors conjure, have you ever wondered if your accessories evoke certain subconscious reactions or could ever be symbolic?

Generally, I consider silver accessories to be sleek and modern, whilst yellow gold to me invokes feelings of ancient wealth, and noblilty. And when I think about what my mother calls “costume jewelry” (anything that falls between silver and gold, does not necessarily make a dent in your pocket and can be found in ANY store); it invokes feelings of playfulness.

Recently however, another form of accessory has crossed my path. One which I had hardly given much thought to: Pearls. Thus far, my only association with this accessory is that I have read the book “The Girl with the Pearl Earring,” (which by the way is a brilliant read and recommended by me), and a few years ago, I bought a string of faux pearls because I thought they were fashionable (they still are btw). However, in thinking deeply about these flawless creations, and what they connote, I must say, it has been a remarkable thought process (all 10mins spent thinking :-). I read somewhere that “Diamond’s must be a girl’s best friend, but a string of pearls is the badge of a lady.” And sadly enough this is true. Every female wants the bling of diamonds, but noone really deems it necessary to have a string of pearls in their jewelry box. Or maybe diamonds are today what pearls were to the old-school ladies? Who knows? Needless to say, since reading this saying, I have had what you could consider an 'Eureka!' moment. It goeth thus:

Have you ever noticed that some of the most powerful women seem to wear a string of pearls around their necks?

Sandra Day O'Connor, Margaret Thatcher, Condoleeza Rice,

Queen Elizabeth, Hilary Clinton ...

Why is this so?

My theory is this: For many of these high-powered women, ruling in a male dominated world, their pearls are a way to still retain their feminity. It seems to me that pearls seem to have done the impossible: which is to transcend both style and fashion to become a purely functional piece. Nancy MacDonald Smith sums it up perfectly when she asserts that there is something about pearls – their air of cleanliness, their association with feminity, their purity of color and form – that is very inviting. Pearls are high status enough to be aspirational, yet familiar enough to inspire warmth.

And herein lies the crux of my blog today:

Pearls - like clothing items, and other accessory types make a statement. However, what makes pearls unique is that they are in and of themselves a definition rather than define the wearer. Any gender can wear silver/gold accessories and you really don't need to look very far to realize that diamonds are no longer just a girl's best friend. Just ask 50cent, puff daddy(pdiddy? diddy?), Kanye west (or turn on MTV/BET). Pearls on the other hand are a statement accessory that play into our subconscious: associating pearls with ladies.

I must confess that this revelation is not going to find me running to the nearest shop to pick up my very own freshwater pearls. However, I wouldn't mind finding these in my jewelry box :-)

Political Blog

OK I know this is a blog about the functionality of style. However, as it also serves as a therapeutic outlet for me, I am going to use this medium to outlay my frustrations about politics.

I am not a Republican (no surprise there) and I think it would be blasphemous of me to classify myself as a Democrat (as I really don’t follow the party). I am however a citizen of the United States of America and a distant – although not ardent - observer of this election process. I must confess that I take all politician's words with a grain of salt: as I believe each individual to a certain extent is trying to either advance their career, or attain greater power. My measure of who to take seriously, and possibly vote for, is therefore determined not only by the individual who is going to do more good than harm in their quest to attain a higher position, but also the means in which they choose to reach this end.

That being said, based on my observations and following of this electoral process, I, like I’m sure every other citizen out there was surprised by the VP choice of McCain. However, I held my peace and passed no judgment on this individual until I had heard both sides of the story.

Needless to say, I watched her speech yesterday, and I was really saddened by what I saw. Besides the jabs that were made towards the “opposition,” I saw a woman who clearly knew nothing of which she spoke. Big Empty Words with a touch of cynical humor. It has been hailed as a well delivered speech; but give any actor a good speech and I doubt you’d be disappointed in the outcome. It has been said that “people who live in glass houses do not throw stones” yet it seems like members of the McCain camp have not gotten this memo.

If the main criticism of your opposition is a lack of experience; what sense does it make to choose a second-in command who sees no distinction between her level of experience to that of the “community organizer” (forgetting that he was a community organizer over a decade ago and has since gotten unparalleled experience). If your main criticism of your opposition is that he is a good orator whose only ability is to draw crowds; it would make sense to choose a second-in-command who is just as good an orator. However, the McCain camp fails to realize that it is one thing to give a good speech yet another to give a speech that is not only accurate but also reflective of you (considering the whole idea is to show yourself to the world). In sum, I say to Sarah Palin: George Bush called, and he wants his speech back!

How dare the McCain camp try to bamboozle us into thinking being a good member of the PTA with a pretty face and ability to throw in a few good punch lines qualifies you to become the VP of such a great nation. No offense to Sarah Palin as I’m sure she in her own right has been a commendable governor of Alaska, however, she needs to return in a few years, after she has been schooled in National affairs (talk less of Foreign affairs). America is looking for a breathe of fresh air. However, we need a breathe of fresh air that can hold their own within the International Realm. You cannot take a crash-course in “How to Become a Vice President”, when the welfare and lives of millions (not 9000) people depend on it (both in and outside the US of A).

Let us therefore learn the past (a la George W. Bush), watch the present (and the magic tricks politicians are trying to pull off) and create the future!!!

Rock your vote y'all @ http://www.rockthevote.com/

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest. Moving right along...

...Is anyone else loving Leanne from Project Runway???? Now, that’s a small time girl making big waves – talking the talk and sewing the sew (corny?!? lol I’m allowed one corny line per post). And she says she’s never left the country?!?! She coulda totally fooled me with the fashion she designs. Someone get the girl a passport. Sheer Genius!

Her Bio:

This Portland native first got her itch for design at the early age of 12, after designing ballet costumes. A graduate from the FIDM in San Francisco, Leanne was the recipient of the Levis/Dockers Fashion Designer of Tomorrow scholarship. Much of her designs are influenced by her five-plus years as a graphic designer and can be described as innovative, structural and sophisticated, resulting in a style that's unquestionably her own. Her feverish appetite for fashion and creation probably appetite for fashion and creation probably lent a hand in naming her line "Leanimal," currently being sold in Portland, New York, and Seattle. < http://www.bravotv.com/Project_Runway/season/5/bios/bios.php?designer=leanne>

Loving her!!! Some of my Leanne favs below:

Click Here are more pics of the design at the bottom...'cos that picture does it no justice!

Gentleman

I remember the first time I saw him. I had seen him a thousand times before. However, the first time I “really” saw him was in a grey bespoke suit with a crisp white shirt, pink tie and a pink pocket square. It was the first time I realized how he had grown into himself. The first time I saw my gentleman.

Since the grey suit with the pink tie and matching pocket square, my gentleman has worn a wide array of suits and each time I see him is always the first time. My gentleman’s look is styled down to the smallest detail. He believes in perfection; willing to remake the entire suit if one seam is out of place and firmly against replicating others’ designs. The trademark of his fashion house is being able to boast uniqueness.

In his suit, he looks like he belongs with the throng of the wealthy - and even then - my gentleman stands out. Amidst the less-fortunate and down trodden he blends in, radiating a comfort that draws others to him, extinguishing any class difference. William Lyon Phelps stated that the final test of a gentleman is his respect for those who can be of no possible service to him. My gentleman passes this final test.

Ultimately, my gentleman is so comfortable with himself that he never needs to look down on- or up to- anybody else. He is the best man he can be. With the seriousness in his eyes, his Godly heart and the best bespoke tailor I know. His passion is designing, – both buildings and wardrobes – mixing Form & Function.

Beyond the tailored suit - when I saw him, I saw in him the values of my father. Old school values like pride, intelligence and dignity. And a realization that being a gentleman exceeds the look you portray to the attitude you emanate.

The first time I “really” saw my gentleman, I became the best woman I can be – for him and others.





P.S. I am shamelessly failing in my shop-free before September experiment. Got the cutest shoes from Aldo...

....and Zara was having a sale....Enough said :-).

Retail Therapy

I have a problem. No, not my need for anger management classes, nor my need to build social skills (I’m not anti-social, just socially challenged). These two things pale in comparison to this problem of which I speak. My problem is called “Retail Therapy.” You know the trite saying that girls eat ice cream and watch sappy movies to feel better. Not this girl. I shop to feel better. Not like I need a reason to shop to begin with.

I’ve perfected the art of shopping – Window shopping, Flea market shopping, Boutique shopping, Department store shopping, Dollar store shopping, Corner store shopping – I am what you call an equal opportunity shopper. All I need is a room with things that have price tags on them and you got my attention for a few couple of hours. I don’t discriminate on stores...some of my best pieces were either got from the most unlikely shops or at a crazy bargain!

So my retail therapy problem is thus: If I have a bad day, I shop. Someone gets on my nerves, I shop. I get bored, I shop. Its a nice day out, I shop.

Its not that I am financially irresponsible but shopping to me is what AA is to an alcoholic or rehab is to a drug addict. It heals me. Tammy Faye Baker had the right idea when she said “shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist.” Not like I know what the hourly rate is to obtain a shrink is but I reckon it probably is more expensive than the kinds of shopping I do. So I should carry along and indulge right? Wrong.

Getting upset + Shopping = Happiness seems like a good equation and one can argue that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. However, there is a missing variable in that equation and its called Discipline. I have come to realize that this habit of shopping in order to release happy hormones is trés problematic (albeit the current economic situation played a major part in ‘shoving’ me to this realization! :-).

Up until a few years agoI used to suck my thumb to feel better (yep a FEW years ago...and?) . No harm there as I was young enough not to know any better and quite frankly the only harm that caused was a slight overbite. Everyone besides my dentition wins! But now, as a young adult, this road to self appeasement, as anyone will agree, is far from functional! Therefore in order to avoid being a hypocrite and in order to practice what I preach on my blog a propos functionality, I have decided to stay away from the shops...

...until September (i’m trying to be self-righteous not mad!)

Hence my experiment commences. Hopefully, I find a way to placate myself when times get rough that does not have to do with expanding my closet. Hopefully I don’t regress to sucking my thumb, or end up on a psychiatrist’s couch – I heard they are pretty expensive.

What Do You Love Most About Your Age?

This was the question I came across whilst reading the July issue of Vogue. I read this question with amusement as I had never REALLY thought about it. I mean i love finally being able to rent a car without the extra 200 dollar deposit for not being of age and many a times when I see an older person who seems so dated or a young person talking about not being able to buy alcohol, i think WOW i love being 20 something :-)

However as I pondered upon this question, I brought out a piece of paper, just as I do when reading those forwarded emails. You know the ones that promise to reveal your one true love after writing down your favorite color, food, name of your best friend, and numbering 1-50 etcetera etcetera (you get the drift). Anyways, as I pondered upon this question, I decided to write down at least 10 things I liked about my age. Here goes...

#1. My independence (for now)

#2. The feeling that I can do anything I want and be all that I can be (even though the feeling is fast fading!)

#3. My looks (although the jury is still out on what the next 15 years would bring).

#4. Being hip enough to buy my nieces cool stuff (may I never become the old dated aunty singing Rihanna's umbrella song 10 years from now!)

#5. Having a new crush every week.

#6. Looking young enough to be hit on by 20-somethings yet old enough to be hit on by 30-somethings. (hopefully i'll be off the market long before the 40-somethings start with the "hey baby heaven must be missing an angel" lol).

#7. Being able to shop in the Juniors department without looking like an old fool :-).

#8. Being in love.

#9. Being smart enough not to think i'll forever be in love.

#10. Be at an age where I can convince myself back to believing in Forever Love!! lol

Whilst reading through my list, I became a bit nervous as I realized that I may just be in my best years yet. It all seems to be going downhill judging by all my comments in parenthesis. But in re-reading it I further realize that it can only go uphill from here!! Another thing I love about my age...

...My unending Optimism :-)

--Life is sometimes hard, and you have to laugh your way through it!

Blacklist

As a little girl, there were two things I hated wearing - hats to church and fancy dresses. You know the kind you had to sit still so it didn’t as much as get a wrinkle in it much less a stain! The kinds that came with the frilly socks and patent shoes. I hated those two things. Not really sure why I hated wearing hats but I know I hated dresses because they took away a freedom. Kept me from being myself for fear of a whooping should I get the darn dress dirty. I hated watching my brother carry on while I was forced to sit pretty because of a stupid dress.

As a teenager, I still hated wearing hats to church and dresses. I also added purses and makeup to my objects of disdain. Well maybe not makeup in general but specifically lipstick and nail polish (does nail polish count as makeup?). I hated purses because like dresses, they took away my freedom. See, I had gotten to an age where my mother could no longer carry my junk yet I never wanted a purse because (1) I hated always having to keep an eye on my purse so I didn’t lose it and (2) I always lost it. Lipstick and nail polish made my list of things disdained just because they seemed unnatural to me.

In the present time, I still abstain from lipstick and with the invention of French manicures, I too can have pretty toes. However, for the most part, my blacklisted things are now my most coveted things. I cannot do without a really hot purse and pretty dresses have become my weakness.

(FYI: any of the above dresses can be purchased at http://www.victoriasecret.com/, and the Prada purse (preferably in black and gold) can be purchased at any fine retailer that carries it. Please contact me for size and delivery address :-)

It has been said: know first who you are; and then adorn yourself accordingly. I can say with all certainty that nobody know me pass me!* I have discovered that I am my own best friend and my own worst enemy. But most of all during my process of self discovery, I have discovered that clothes are inevitable and however you choose to adorn yourself reflects to a certain degree, the person you are.

To be a functional woman (not as in the pages of the glossy magazines, on television or on your movie screen) is to know yourself, know what you represent, and know what works for you. For me – Dresses work and in the spirit of summertime I would like to leave you with two important words of advise:

#1. Your dress should be tight enough to show you’re a woman and loose enough to show you’re a lady; and

#2. When in doubt, wear pink!

L’été sera chaud...

*translation: I know myself more than anyone else on this earth.

Fashion Forward

Some have said that Procrastination is suicide on an installment plan, but I would go with the more optimistic school of thought and view Procrastination as the key to prolonging life. I have run out of excuses for my bad habit [in Blogsville] of putting off until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday. However, I make no apologies for forsaking my blog because my blog and I remain together forever (or as long as blogger.com continues to pay its URL fees). Blogsy and I can never be parted. Maybe in distance, but never in heart. :-)

Now that I have gotten that out of the way and professed my eternal love for Blogsy. I would like to discuss the reason for today's entry.

So I enter the elevator yesterday and I see a guy wearing a blazer made out of EXACTLY the same fabric as my pyjama bottoms! Now my question is am I fashion forward or does the guy need a total makeover? Being that I place myself in such high esteem, I would go with the former and in the spirit of fashion-forwardness, I was tempted to ask the guy if they made female versions of his blazer. Might as well turn my pyjamas into a suit :-). I would be what you call a fashionable nonconformist. Besides, 'isn't elegance forgetting what one is wearing?'*

RIP YSL.*

I Shall Overcome!

There are many things in life we take for granted - the air we breathe, the food we eat, friends that care about us and zippers. You read me, i said Zippers! 99.75% of you might not be able to relate but the the other 0.25% who can, please relive this ongoing moment of pain and frustration with me.

So it all started with my sewing machine. I own a sewing machine despite a lack of formal tailoring training, pattern cutting or needlework classes in general. However, as an ardent believer of if you can dream it you can achieve it and where there is a will there is a way, I have decided to make my own creations sans any formal training. Filled with enough will to light my way, I have embarked on a journey to discover the tailor in me and I have chosen to go beyond making curtains, bedsheets or pillowcases (where all you have to do really is sew in a straight line) to dive right into making clothing items. You know, actual dresses, skirts and in the near future pants and maybe even a blouse or two.

Overachiever is me!!

Despite a few broken needles (4 but who is counting?), a blown out sewing machine bulb, yarns of wasted thread to keep a few dozen kittens happy and enough curses from my lips that would make even a truck driver blush, I am proud to say that I am a proud owner of self-made dresses and a skirt! However, there seems to be a minor (or major) hurdle in my tailoring that I am yet to overcome and that is inserting Zippers. In my short tailoring career, Zippers have become to me what Goliath was to David and I am still looking for the perfect stone to bring down this impediment.

Thus far, all my creations are missing this small yet great functional piece and I have found myself in an uncomfortable situation of having struggle into my dress holding my breathe so it can go pass being stuck around my shoulders. Head buried in my dress with my hands up in the air and a friend forcefully willing it to come down while I pray that the seam does not rip in the process. At the present moment, I feel like I am violating my creations by forcing myself into them. Quite a nuisance to say the least and I have since appreciated the simplicity of slipping on what is supposed to be a fitted dress and zipping yourself into it hassle free to obtain the perfect fit!

I have a dream that one day I shall overcome my fear of installing a zipper and would sew a functional zipper without wriggling into my clothes and overstretching the seams. I have a dream that I would no longer continue to lustfully look at every zipper that passes me by trying to figure out the mechanics of how it is put in place. And when my dream is fulfilled, I promise to love and appreciate my zippers for better for worse.

My Father's Daughter

I was in church yesterday and I almost dropped my bible. NO i was not dozing off!

You know there are times when the preacher spews like 5 bible passages within one sentence and recites them as though he had practiced them all week....(anybody remember Sunday School memory verses???)

Anyways, the preacher was having one of those moments and I was trying so hard to keep up until he quoted a bible passage that had me do a doubletake....I had to stop, breathe and confirm that he didnt just make it up.

The verse in question was from 1 Corinth 7:31 and it states:

"And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away" (KJV)."

After confirming that indeed such a verse existed...I ascertained that I AM MY FATHER'S DAUGHTER!

Arguably, this verse is subject to many interpretations and fashion as stated here might not mean clothing, shoes and accessories....but as I live, breathe, and dream these things....I choose to take this verse quite literally.

And there you have it....from God's mouth to your ears (or eyes as you are reading this)....Fashion is ephemeral...but Style is Forever!!**


**supporting bible verse to follow shortly :-)

Life Is Rather Like A Tin Of Sardines - We're All Of Us Looking For The Key

My spirit does not want to discuss fashion (although there are a few gaffes I would love to discuss made by those in the [African] dressmaking industry). However, as I am being led by the spirit, I'm afraid Life is the topic of the day :-)

Another birthday just passed. Another 365.75 [something] days added to my chapter and I've come to realize that how I spend my days equate to how I spend my life. Life is not passing me by. The days are passing me by. Moments are passing me by. Time is passing me by.

I've come to realize that many of us live life looking forward to one event that is not set to take place a month, two months or even six months in advance and that event becomes the focus of our lives at that particular time. Whether it be a vacation (we all need one of those), a wedding (can't seem to escape those these days, people are taking marriage waay too seriously in my world), a conference (don't understand why anyone would look forward to one of those) or even a birthday you are trying to celebrate big. Everyone is looking forward to something! And inevitably, the anticipation consumes our days and becomes the focus of our lives – until they come and go and then we're looking forward to the next big event/thing.

What ends up happening is that we look back and remember our 365.75[something] days as being defined through three or four major events that happened. Quite sad.

Life is a succession of moments and to live each one is to succeed.

My birthday resolution is therefore not to let the days or even moments pass me by. I'm going to live my life watching the clock. Literally. Why? Because time is a companion that goes with us on this journey called life. It reminds us to cherish each moment because it will never come again. Therefore, I suggest we all invest in some pretty good functional timepieces because if you choose for life to pass you by, you might as well watch it go by accurately :-) . Please find some recommendations below:

I have refused, currently refuse and would continue to refuse (you get the picture), at any age, to be content to just look on, performing mundane tasks, while waiting and looking forward to the next event to occur. Life was meant to be lived and curiosity must be kept alive.

LeeAnn Womack had the right idea in her song where she sang:

"I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance...

...I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out Reconsider
Give the heavens above More than just a passing glance..."

Alors,

J'espère que tu trouve ton raison d'être, Pour encourager les autres, faute de mieux, et généralement pour le joie de vivre!

Beyond Fashion...

Beauty is such a complex state of being. To be beautiful is mythic, fictitious - an illusion so to speak. The concept of beauty is very subjective as is apparent in the saying "beauty is in the eye of the beholder," which is somewhat true if one includes personality, character and the 'it is what is on the inside that counts' clause in the measurement of beauty.

However, I am talking about the superficial definition of beauty – physical beauty. Physical beauty is rare and wonderful, and almost all women work to acquire this. Why? Quite frankly, because beauty presents opportunities and to pretend otherwise is foolish. I am in no way advocating hand-outs based on physical appearance or double standards between the beautiful and unbeautiful. I am basically stating a sad truth which is: looks matter first. However, once your looks have gotten you to the door, you must have something else to offer beyond that – whatever that might be, brains, character...something else. However, it is the getting to the door that I choose to focus on today.

For any woman, being beautiful is a complex business and if one is to be successfully beautiful, like any business it requires vigilance, calculation, and a whole lot of hard work. I am coming to this realization as I am leaving my early twenties ;-) (with every passing year, there is only one secret I am learning to keep – the secret of my age) that things that came naturally in the past are becoming strange bedfellows to me.

Going are the days when I thought I would never weigh more than 120 – no matter how hard I tried to gain the weight. Going are the days where my skin glowed with the exuberance of youth and lack of responsibilities. Going are the days where the only reason I needed to wake up before 9 was for class and even then I could choose not to go without the fear of unemployment. Going are the days where the question was not "to be or not to be," but rather "to buy a new outfit or not to buy." *Sigh. *

Those days are gone.

Appearance involves calculation. Now, I pay more attention to what I eat, I actually go running not only because I enjoy doing it, but also because it is becoming a necessity. The word diet has been added to my vocabulary, I pay an unhealthy attention to beauty product labels now and I take my vitamins (6 different vitamins daily). You could say I am going through a quarter- life crises but I am not. For me, going through a quarter-life crises would be to buy the car I really want (Mercedes G500) and deal with the financial consequences later. Or you could say I have an 'obsessive-compulsive' disorder, but that is not it either.

It is just that I have embraced the words of Helena Rubinstein that states there are no ugly women, only lazy ones.

VIVE LES COULEURS!!!

The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.

Fashion is Architecture. It is a matter of Proportions.* Not only the pattern, but the fabric, cut and print make the clothes. The name of the game this spring is Flirty! Flirt! Flirt! Accentuate your winning parts (neckline, shoulders, ankles, calves). Don't whore it but definitely not a crime to flaunt it!

In my world hot pink is the new black! Vivid colors have become a fashion statement. Ralph Lauren defines it as Colorfully Composed – I say wear the damn rainbow if you please. The best color in the whole world is the one that looks good on you!

In a season where anything goes, it is pretty hard to commit a fashion faux-pas....

--Flats are still a given and heels can be clunky, wedge or platform.




--You can layer it up or bare it all (in a conservative way of course)

--We tomboys must indulge as menswear is now women's domain. Menswear have become a fashion statement and now, he is not the only on turning heads in the slim-cut, custom made pin stripe suit. Katharine Hepburn surely would be proud!



--Hippies and Parisians can cause a stir...go global or retain the classy-chic, riche look.

--And pants can be wide legged or skinny.

In sum, Style is an expression of one's individuality mixed with charisma whilst Fashion is something that comes after style. As spring brings with it immense opportunities to showcase a style your own, it is imperative that whatever look you choose to own and project should be done with taste.

Vive les couleurs de printemps!



*Coco Chanel

Don't Meet Me @ The Crossroads

Ever been @ a point in your life where it seems like you're just going through the motions waiting for ONE great thing to happen?

No, not a hopeless state as you have options. Yet these options seem to be lost in a maze somewhere out there.

...Weeping may endure for a night, but Joy Comes in The Morning. Psalm 30:5.

Motivation

''I know the price of success: dedication, hardwork and an unremitting devotion to the things you want to see happen'' -Frank Lloyd Wright

I come across this quote daily and every single time I remind myself to blog. Alas, within 5mins, I forget my remembrance. It is not that I do not enjoy this hobby that is blogging; it is just too cold to blog!

It sounds like a lame excuse i know...kinda like the dog ate my homework....or my personal favorite....my grandfather passed. It is not that i'm cruel. I just never had a grandfather so its rather easy to kill him over and over and over again.

But it is waay too cold! My body was not made for this weather because I was not raised in this weather. God made no mistake in placing me in tropical weather for the most part of my life. He knows I cease to function when temperatures drop below 70degrees. This is my excuse for my lack of uninterrupted blogging and i'm sticking to it.

Hopefully it gets better in the summer.

Anyways...back to the quote. I like THAT quote because in one sentence Mr. Wright has managed to capture all the ingredients for success. Nowadays, many "Insider's guide to reaching your full potential " books spend pages upon pages telling you how to succeed - only for a small price of $29.99. And they might even throw in a free tape with nature sounds to help you wake up feeling like a winner! However, it really is not that serious as is apparent in this quote.

All you need is dedication, hardwork and an unremitting devotion. I would go further to include a devotion to things you LOVE doing. This my friends, is the secret to success....You gotta love it to make it work for you and of course have God on your team!

That being said.....i have not been inspired or wow-ed by anything recently. The 'abaete boots' from my last post that seemed like a boon turned out to be a disappointment. Guess there was a reason it was released in Payless and not DSW :-). The moral of that story is Payless is not for me!

On a brighter note....with spring fast approaching (not really but I can only hope) whats new? And i mean that literally. Can anything really be labeled inovative or original? as it seems fashion is going in circles....Nothing new under the sun!

So really, whats new?

Amongst other things, this spring..Its all about color!!! African Traditional Prints are commercial now!!!! Thats the word on the street...or shall I say amongst a select few in Paris, Milan, New York, London and possibly Tokyo.

It can be argued that it was all about colour in the days of three's company...(just think Mrs. Roper)...and African Traditional Prints can Never be out of style....just 'cos they werent on the runway doesnt mean they werent a hot commodity somewhere :D...like in my world.

However, in the spirit of feeling like the fashion capitals have brought forth the next best idea in fashion...shall we get a drumroll for these looks that I personally find quite appealing:

http://www.style.com/mystyle/lookbooks/thumbnails/mylookbook136373
http://www.style.com/mystyle/lookbooks/thumbnails/mylookbook136717

Stay tuned for my personal lookbook courtesy of "your average girl's closet".....

Abaete

CAN WE SHINE THE SPOTLIGHT ON THIS:

Yup so I "happened upon" these today...and thinking that I just invented electricity was soo excited about my "find".

As a self-proclaimed World Wide Web Research Analyst, I have since come to realize that alas everybody else and their mother have BEEN spotlighted it (please excuse the offensive grammar) ....as early as JULY!!!

As an ardent believer in 'better late than never'...i am going to highlight this anyways as it fits perfectly into my thesis of 'the necessity of the functionality of style'. OK...sooo get this....

Besides the two-texture leather and patent combo including a black patent cap toe with a nickel side zipper; IT converts from an over the knee boot by zipping off the patent top....2 BOOTS in one! believe it?? I didnt....

Doesnt get anymore functional than that! or maybe its the ingenuity I appreciate. Either way I had to spotlight this shoe.

As with every other thing in life, this too has seen its share of criticism - there are those who consider it "cheap looking" (i would politely disagree because although it doesnt look like a pair of givenchy's it is quite ok for the price). I must admit that on first glance, I had a personal criticism of the zipper being placed on the outside as opposed to the inside the leg?? (which in my opinion tends to diminish its aesthetics).

However, overall they are a cool...and different pair of boots that can only get better when you realize that they can be picked up at your neighbourhood Payless for $70. Yup! $70...Gotta love it.

Happy New Year!

According to Coco Chanel, "A girl should be two things: Classy and Fabulous."

Many girls start out looking just that on New Year's Eve. We plan to go all out and bring in the new year Absolutely Fabulous; "dressed to impress", if I may use the trite term. Alas, as the clock strikes 12, instead of being in the arms of the tall, dark and handsome guy staring into his dreamy bright eyes and having the best kiss you would ever know, many a girl ends up in the corner of the bar (and sometimes the street) being propped up by a bevy of friends damn near dying of alcohol poisioning! Dress all askew, makeup gone from flawless to heinous, hair looking like a windstorm just passed and pantyhose with enough tracks to house 12 amtrak trains. Class and Fab Gone With the Wind!!

We are quick to forget that Fashion is not something that exists in dresses and Elegance does not consist of putting on a new dress. Beyond wearing the most expensive dress in the room, the image we portray surpasses all. In the words of Marlene Dietrich: Dress for the Image, not for the Public, Fashion nor Men. The substance and composure of a woman is far more important than the clothes she wears on her back.

Therefore, as we begin the new year, beyond the weight loss, money saving, reduced shopping, better worker, nicer person, be all I can be resolutions; I beg you add to the list, the ability to know when to stop pouring the wine, increased elegance, grace and a style which is not only functional but also your own! And above all, remember that the most important thing you can take anywhere is not a Gucci bag or French-cut jeans, rather it is an open and sober mind!*

Happy New Year To All and Gods Blessings To You And Yours!!



*Gail Rubin Bereny